79 pages • 2 hours read
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Growing up as Latino and gay in the south in the 1980s, Ari becomes familiar with the psychological and emotional impact of discrimination. When he finally comes to terms with his orientation, Ari grapples with feelings of shame, regret, sadness, otherness, and despair. As the story progresses and as Ari continues to grow as a person and come into his identity, he learns to weather the effects of discrimination and confront his shame.
One notable source of shame and uneasiness is Ari’s blossoming sexuality. When Ari and Dante decide to become a romantic couple at the outset of the novel, Ari begins to wrestle with his sexual desire. As summer begins to wind down and the boys prepare for their final year of high school, Ari finds himself desperate to be alone with Dante. He hatches a plan to go camping, just the two of them, but lets the idea go, realizing that their parents would likely assume they had gone away to have sex. Though his desire to have sex with Dante is undeniable, Ari decides against pitching an away trip to his parents because “[he] didn’t want to be ashamed” (35). When Ari begins to feel a powerful sexual attraction to Dante is when “the word ‘shame’ [starts] loitering in [his] body” (35).
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By Benjamin Alire Sáenz
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